Molestation is sexual assault or abuse of a person, especially a woman or child. The action of pestering or harassing someone in an aggressive or persistent manner. To make unwanted or improper sexual advances towards someone; especially to force physically.
This topic is so Real to me because I was Molested as a child by men who made me feel like I could trust them. They would offer me money, food, candy, or some form of comfort as if I was special, wanted and needed by I didn't realize that it was a trap to want my body in some way.
Also there was a babysitter who was a female who would watch us while our mother was away. She would lay me on the floor in the bedroom and get on top of me and was moving her body. I didn't know what she was doing but she would always tell me not to tell anybody and I as a child kept it to myself even though it just seemed wrong what she was doing but what was I to do as a child.
One can grow up with many insecurities. Turning to Men for love and attention. Turning to Prostitution, and sexual promiscuity. Jobs that are about showing off your body for attention but you may not know that's why you are doing that.
Seeking man after man and none are able to satisfy what you are looking for. You tend to look for love in all the wrong places. You love attention even if it is the wrong attention because you are kind of confused to what proper attention is.
Until you seek help and talk about your past, how can you move forward and heal? It took me so many years to come to understand why I was then quiet. I was voted the most quietest student in the entire High School Graduation Class. I never hardly talked but I would write everything down.
I learned to write so much that the Pastor of the Church would tell me that I had a gift to write. Some of what I wrote would rhyme. Some would be how I felt, but it was kind of put into an inspiration. I always wanted people to love one another and be real and not fake.
It's kind of hard to trust people when you have been abused. You don't want to feel so lonely and afraid so you confide in others. Buying friends I would do. Always giving people things. Taking them out and treating them well so that they would like me and maybe appreciate me, even though I didn't owe them anything.
Never realizing that as I got older I was looking for people that I could fix. Who I could heal that were all jacked up, but I felt like I was their savior. I could make them whole or make them complete in the midst of their dysfunctions.
Marrying people who needed help themselves like I did. My sanity was always the Church. The Lord. My Grandmother always told me to be the best person that I could be. She said that I was an Evangelist and that the Lord was gonna use me to help many.
It was hard to believe that when you were shy and afraid and closed down from people and a very nervous type person but full of love. I just wanted everyone to love me. I just wanted to pour love into everyone and change the world. I always prayed to God until He became my Best Friend. He caused me to feel loved and wanted and needed. But I always said. Why don't people show real love?
It always felt like Lust or Usury. People knew I had a heart of gold but they would use that to always get something from me. I just wanted them to love me for me but that was always short lived. I wanted everyone to give their hearts to Jesus Christ and just be good role models. Well you can wish that all you want but the world is made up of good and bad. Right and Wrong. Mistakes and Lessons to learn from and how can you learn from something if you've never been through anything.
Jesus became my Sanity. I am many Books. My Life Story is extensive. I love writing, acting, drama, laughter, and just getting out of me what I feel is babies. Spiritual Babies. What I was created to birth forth.
I will stop here because this will turn into eternity of writing. I just want you to know that In the Life of Mrs.Donna .Com You will learn about a person being Transparent. Honest. Truthful. Love, Tearful. Joyful. Healing. Laughter. But mainly what I am known for Keeping It Real even if it means being persecuted for being honest.
I am a Real Christian Woman who keeps it real. I am far from perfect but I love to make Jesus smile. I've overcome so many things so far and am still a work in progress but with the Lord Jesus Christ guiding my life. I know for sure that this flower that has been clenched tight is starting to bloom, come alive, have purpose for living her life to the fullest expression of what God wants from me. Breathe Again. Reborn Again. Heal from the Inside Out!!
Stay Tuned. Mrs. Donna is Gods Daughter. He is just perfecting those things which concern me. I am the Apple of His Eye. I am a force to be reckoned with. I am more than a conqueror. I am somebody when I use to always say that I was a Nobody. God is just bringing out the best in me when others around may have only seen the worst in me. BUT GOD!!!