If you don't let go of the past, it will come back to bite you in the behind. Marriage is more than saying "I DO", you gotta put in the work in order for it to become a successful marriage. Not saying that a marriage is going to be perfect because they all came come with many challenges.
When you have unresolved past issues, especially with your ex partner, it can creep right back up with your current partner. I was always the one who thought that I could fix my mate. Make them whole. Make them perfect. Take away all of their hurt and pain from the past. Guess what? I was trying to do God's job. Sure I can try to be the best wife possible, but when you don't see lasting changes with your spouse,and they start acting out on somethings that they haven't dealt with or had counseling for, BAM here it comes. Mess!!
Boy Oh Boy did I encounter a bunch of mess in my marriage. Stuff that wasn't talked about fully before marriage. Some of it was but I just figured that it would work itself out in time, I was an Evangelist and loved the Lord so I figured that I could save the world. I had the best of intentions, but some people still have to surrender to the Lord what they can't fix on their own.
We often cover up our pain of the past by using some form of addiction. You know full well what I mean. Some of us eat our pain away, sometimes unknowingly that it is stemming from not being healed from who hurt or abused you in the past, Some resort to drugs, drinking alcohol to try to cope with life.
Until you are emotionally healed, the Demon will surface; your past demon. Next thing you know you are arguing, fussing and fighting all of the time. Your partner may not have even done anything to you, but they are not healed so they are trying to protect themselves in advance by blaming you or putting you down for no reason at all. Know what I mean?
Stay tuned for part 4 of Matrimony. This is a much needed subject to talk about, and you know that people don't wanna talk about their dirt. Their skeletons that are still in their closets. Hiding behind guilt, pain, and unforgiveness. OUCH!!!!